Goodbye my big, strong, healthy wife!
“Goodbye my big, strong, healthy wife!” As I registered these words I knew, without a doubt, that they were meant in encouragement, but all I heard was the word BIG. As a woman I have been conditioned to think of big as bad. Big means heavy, big means fat, big means you lose. I can remember being in middle school and wanting to be smaller. Mostly shorter at that time, because I was a gangly […]
It’s Never Too Late
Finally, after my whole adult life, I can now say that I am in the best health of my life, thus far. This is most meaningful to me, not only for my own health, but also to impart my knowledge to others who are struggling with dietary and health issues. This turning point came to me about 4 1/2 years ago, at age 52, when I had had enough of “why do I feel this […]
Shaming is Shamefool
Many of us have dealt with shame throughout our lives. I certainly have struggled with immense shame – from my earliest memory at 5 years of age through to suffering extreme shame for 25 years with a combination of eating disorders. Essentially the anorexic feels shame at never achieving impossible perfection; the bulimic feels shame at the out-of-control binging and purging; the overeater feels ashamed at simply being fat; and the disordered eater feels ashamed […]
She Really Let Herself Go
“She really let herself go” is a saying I’ve heard more than a few times and always with a negative connotation. After the birth of my daughter “I really let myself go” in a positive way. Most of it had to do with reprioritizing and redefining beauty, or at least what makes me feel beautiful. Before I had my daughter, when I was first dating my husband, I was 30 minutes late to meet him […]
There are many jails we create in our own minds. We think we cannot do things, we think certain things are impossible and we think we are stuck in certain situations. No doubt, life is complicated and there are true obstacles. When we find which of these obstacles are bigger in our minds than reality we can be jail breakers and move forward and move into better health. We all see things from our perception; […]
Detox Your Mind
What is it that keeps us from slowing down and relaxing into our meals and life? For me, it is my mind. I could see how my mind prohibited me from slowing my body to reap any of the benefits of metabolizing my food more efficiently much less be able to digest life. If I could clean up my mind I could have a chance at slowing down and getting these lasting benefits for my […]
It’s simple, but not easy
It’s simple, but not easy. I was five when my mom picked me up from the nursery and I proudly told her that I’d eaten a gross piece of meat we’d been served for lunch. I did it because there was a rule at the nursery: you had to clear your plate. My mom turned to me and said: “You shouldn’t eat everything that’s on your plate.” The 5-year-old me heard: “I’d love you more […]
Don’t believe everything you think!
Take notice, what kind of thoughts are you thinking? I bet they are not all true. My thought life was a funny farm for decades and I really did not find the humor in it. Not only did I cover all the untruths about food and health in my mind, I covered self-deprecating thoughts to the fullest. Completely lost in who I was as a person, I had to find a better path. My worst […]
You Are NOT Too Fat To Start Dating Again. Let me prove it.
Have you ever been ambushed by the following thought: “I’ll start dating when I’ve lost weight”? If so, then I have news for you. It is a lie-in-sheep’s-clothing, a toxic myth that will damage your chances of getting into a relationship. I am going to prove that it is entirely possible for you to not only debunk those untruths that tell you you have to weigh X pounds in order to enjoy a happy love […]
Shake It Off
Girl, you need to have… if you had…then you would get… why are you so… Living with other people’s expectations of me did nothing more than short change me to who I needed to be. Living with frustration, looking in the mirror, hoping and praying that if only… then I could… Prayer changes things…is what was ringing in my ear. The other ear shouting…just be content where you are. It seemed like a case of […]
The Menopausal Shift
Over my 14 years of practice, I have worked with so many women who struggle with their weight and changing body throughout menopause and beyond. The truth is, in the Menopausal phase your body changes, your metabolism slows and for many women weight gain occurs. Certainly it is important to ensure your nutrition and exercise support these hormonal shifts and do what you can to have the healthiest body to carry you through your life, […]
A Call to the Wild
When you were born you were wild. You operated from instinct and intuition. You gave love when it felt right. You ran when you felt like running. You ate when and what you felt like eating. You didn’t worry about your waistline or what others saw you eat. You were never concerned with which exercise burnt the most calories. You had no thoughts over whether mother’s milk had too much fat or carbs. You were […]
How to Stay in Tune with Your Wisdom
I have entered a phase in my life where my personal growth has taken a precedence over my family. I am a mother whose children are in the process of leaving home and now things that mattered to me, but were relegated in the priority list, are now important – my health, my well-being, my passions, my work. Some people feel, in this fast-tracked world, I have been left behind and it is too late […]
Is it Time to Check Back In?
How is it that I didn’t really notice an 80 pound weight gain? My brain knew it. After all, my clothes were evidence; my discomfort was evidence. But to avoid the pain of REALLY knowing and feeling, I checked out. Not consciously of course. I didn’t say “I’m going to numb myself so I don’t have to think about anything that’s painful”. I just disconnected slowly over time. It’s easier than you think to check […]
The Heart Must Feed Itself First
I’m a licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in anxiety/stress and disordered eating. At a young age, I internalized the messages of perfectionism, restriction, and self-sacrifice, thinking they were prerequisites for my future success and happiness. It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I came to realize I had to find another way of being in the world. During my postdoctoral residency, which was incredibly challenging, I personally experienced the impact chronic stress can have on the […]
There is So Much More to the Story Than Food.
Growing up, I had absolutely no connection to how to best nourish my mind, body and soul with food. I’ve always had a large appetite – for food, adventure, and life – but when I was younger I didn’t draw the connection between what I consumed and how I felt in my mind and body. In fact, as an introspective person, I spent so much time living inside my mind, consumed with my own thoughts, […]
Our Body Wisdom Brings Healing
Four years ago my life dramatically changed. My mother was diagnosed with adrenal carcinoma and had a serious surgery. I was exhausted, stressed and devastated. I also had four young children at home and a husband with a demanding job. I suddenly felt this tiny earthquake shifting underneath my feet. Life was changing and my emotional world was in upheaval. The things that were important to me fell away, and I began to feel certain […]
I am what I am
About two years after my second daughter was born in 2001, I put on a lot of weight. I remembered the feeling during school volleyball practice, after a hard warm up, feeling like I was toast, that after some water and catching my breath, I was able to go on for another 2 hour practice. So once again, I worked out really hard, recorded everything I ate and drank and was in the back in […]
Awakening the Sacred Masculine
I spent childhood and early adulthood obese. This made me look, feel, and behave differently from the other boys and eventually men. I loved my sisters and my mother deeply, and felt distance from my father, who was physically present but emotionally distant. Even though I played with trucks, video games, watched wrestling, and played every sport, I lived my life rejecting masculinity in the world and myself. I saw toxic masculinity everywhere and I […]
Organically Healthy Workout
I had an amazing experience at the gym this morning and wanted to write about it. What happened? I worked out. The amazing part was, I didn’t compare my body to other bodies and feel embarrassed or ashamed while I worked out. I actually had the thought during one set of reps that I love my strong legs and I wouldn’t want them to get smaller. There was a sense of contentment that allowed me […]
I was recently on a plane with several hours to kill. My head was hard against the window, desperate for sleep but uncomfortable at every angle. My mind drifted as sleep was unfortunately not an option. Thoughts wandered back through time, and I imagined my life like the movie Sliding Doors. I reflected back to when I was around 16, when I first developed Anorexia Nervosa. I began to imagine how my life would have […]
Can’t Stop Eating? Read This IMMEDIATELY
WARNING: This article is entirely devoid of magic-pill type fixes, such as a brand new fad diet, juice fast, or detox. But I do have some mental tools for change that you can start using right now if you feel you can’t stop eating. If you experience times when you are out of control around food, I have a strategy for you to feel better about it immediately, and not in some wishy-washy, paper-over-the-cracks ‘just […]
Pause for a while!
When a client comes to me and they have struggle with their weight or they face eating challenges, I often ask them about their bigger dream or the legacy that they want to leave behind. We need to pause in life, when we are overloaded or bombarded with problems. It is often like drinking water when you are tempted to eat something when you are not hungry. Relax, sit down, and re-evaluate your life. Where […]
No Willpower? NOW You Can Curb Your Sugar Cravings
One of the most toxic myths in the world of health (and indeed self-help) is that of the wonder of willpower. We have put it on a pedestal, given it superhero status and pray at its altar every time we want to make any significant change. If you are using willpower to fight a losing battle with your sugar cravings, then read on. I am about to take that willpower off its pedestal and replace […]
Twenty six ago, when I was 16, my mum took me to our doctor. He measured my height and then asked me to stand on the scales. He then asked me to have a look at my stomach. He pointed out a coat of extremely fine body hair covering my skin, which he called lanugo. The doctor told my mother and I that I had Anorexia Nervosa. He simply told my mum to buy me […]