I’ve undergone a lot of transformation over the last 7 years. I’ve stopped dieting, made huge breakthroughs in overeating, binge and emotional eating, lost a ton of weight (from my body and mental/emotional weight) but to be honest, I didn’t do much work around body shame.  I mean, I remember being at my heaviest weight – 225 lbs – and feeling an enormous amount of shame, the “please God, no one look at me” kind of shame, but I never really questioned it.  Several years before, I had lost a lot of weight through dieting and exercise, and then found myself gaining it back plus a lot more after having my kids.  Feeling like a total failure and disgusted with my body.  I thought it was normal to feel shame, and that to fix it, all I had to do was lose weight. And so I did, and as the weight came off, the shame lifted – or rather, just disappeared to hidden places inside myself.

It wasn’t until I was working through the Institute’s Eating Psychology Coach Certification training last year, that I realized that I hadn’t worked through any of the body shame that I held so deeply. It also forced me to question the weight bias that I had learned growing up, that thinner was better.  For me thinness equaled safety and love, and fatness equaled criticism and vulnerability.  It hit me like a ton of bricks! You see, it was also the year that my body started to gain weight, and if I’m being honest, I started to freak out a bit (ok a lot, at one point!!)  It became crystal clear that I still had some work to do in this area!

What I learned from the training around body image, body shame, and weight shame was so powerful.  That the key to healing is learning unconditional body love, and the art of embodiment.  The art of returning to the body (and ourselves) again and again, when we start to abandon it (which is a completely normal thing for humans to do, by the way!)

So here I am, walking this body-love walk. Relaxing into the body I have now.  Learning to accept and even celebrate my changing body, in all its perfect imperfections.  Digesting and dissolving the body and weight shame so that I can truly enjoy my body and the life I’m living.  It won’t happen overnight, but I know it will be worth it.

Michelle Filliol

Compassionate. Warm-Hearted. Supportive.

ABOUT MICHELLE

I love helping women who are done with diets get to the root of their food and body struggles. My specialties are overeating, emotional eating, binge eating, weight and body image. I believe every woman is unique and offer one-on-one coaching tailored specifically to you and your distinct food and body needs and challenges, so you can feel your best in your body and end the struggle!