Have you ever been ambushed by the following thought: “I’ll start dating when I’ve lost weight”? If so, then I have news for you.

It is a lie-in-sheep’s-clothing, a toxic myth that will damage your chances of getting into a relationship.

I am going to prove that it is entirely possible for you to not only debunk those untruths that tell you you have to weigh X pounds in order to enjoy a happy love life, to feel more confident and sexy around your man, or men you date.

The earth is not flat, but we used to believe it was.

You don’t need to be super slim to have a relationship, but everybody seems to believe this to be true for themselves. It is my dearest wish that one day this myth becomes as obsolete as the flat earth one is nowadays.

The modern day Flat Earth Society peddling this nonsense is the beauty and diet industries. The way they spread their toxic lies is through airbrushed perfectionism – the idea that if you don’t look like a supermodel, you are ugly and there is no hope for you.

The truth is that slenderness is just one attraction factor for men – and not all men. If you have more curves than you find comfortable, there will be men who find this off-putting – and plenty who do not. I am not going to rely on some wishy washy ‘let your inner beauty shine through’ nonsense. The body shame that has infected our culture is far too powerful to be dismantled with mere wishful thinking.

The thin = attractive equation is about as accurate as the idea that the earth is flat. The earth does indeed feel flat to you as you walk around it because you are only experiencing a tiny part of our globe. Most people have fallen for the thin = attractive equation as THE TRUTH because it is true for some men some of the time: a tiny part of a much bigger truth. It is a lazy shortcut to the deep primal desires that drive all heterosexual men.

I have termed these male primal desires ‘Desire Triggers’. Think of them as factors that increase a man’s attraction to you. Some of them are controlled by evolution, but there are others that you can leverage to become sexier and more desirable in men’s eyes. They are all behavior-based.

The first desire trigger is the male craving to be validated by women on the basis of his attractiveness and masculinity. Knowing about this puts the focus off your curves and onto his evolutionary drives, that he is often unaware of.To find out exactly how this desire trigger works, and how you can leverage it, read my blog post male desire triggers

Harriet Morris

Innovative. Challenging. Empowering.

Harriet Morris is The Eating Coach. She has appeared on podcasts such as Entrepreneur on Fire and is the author of 4 books. With over 25,000 YouTube views, she empowers both men and women to use psychology and neuroscience to achieve a 95% drop in binge and compulsive eating, as well as eliminating sugar addiction – all without feeling deprived or bad about themselves. Harriet has already used these strategies to make her own (previously all-consuming) compulsive eating & sugar addiction non-issues, and drop 3 dress sizes – all after turning 40. Go to http://www.theshiftinside.com/coaching/ to find out more about how you can reclaim your life from food.