I spent years and years stuck in my thoughts, living a mental life of turmoil as I went through multiple eating disorders. Everyday I would think obsessively about what I was going to eat, where I was going to eat, when I would work out and then when I would work out after that. I had little to no time for friends and often would say no to events due to my inability to workout or eat a certain way that I deemed as “correct” or “better”. Looking back I had a “holier than thou” attitude when it came to how other people lived and what they ate. This attitude prevented me from creating lasting relationships with others as they could sense my strict rigidity.
It took years of slowly becoming awakened to my situation, what I was doing, and watching as others lived happy fulfilled lives despite their “imperfect” bodies that I made the decision to put an end to my madness and claim my right to be happy. I learned in these years how to truly love myself and love this thing called Life. Once I started healing my eating disorder thoughts and replacing them with joyous ones of happiness and love, I began to treat my body right by feeding it properly and finding joyous movement that my body loved and gained strength from.
As my physical body healed i began to see that everything else in my life was being healed. My attitude, my relationships, my dreams, my energy, and my ability to love. Now instead of searching for eating the perfect food or doing the perfect workout I am more in love with this thing called “connection”. A moment to connect with an individual, to be vulnerable, to create experiences with another and share adventures is more important to me and will do me more good than any piece of broccoli or running shoes. I love that when I am with someone now I can be fully present with them, not caught up in my self but caught up in the energy being exchanged between us. I can laugh, eat food, relax, travel and do all these other things that my “perfect” schedule would not have allowed me to do before.
If there was one thing that I could instill in others who go through experiences like this whether it be and eating disorder, body image, acne or whatever it may be, I would say that living your life to the fullest and allowing yourself to be in the moment and enjoy the small things in life is the best gift you could ever do for yourself. Focusing on loving the present, feeling good and letting go will bring so much happiness to you.
Chloe Murdoch is Certified as an Eating Psychology Coach, Therapeutic Nutrition Counselor, Yoga Instructor and studies Public Health. Driven by passion for helping people transform their lives, she is a guiding force for those who want to achieve life healing by awakening them to their authentic power and take charge of their life, thereby creating the health and love that they deserve. While working extensively with nutrition and yoga as a means to achieve health, Chloe believes that it’s just as important to address the psychological and relational aspects of life, and other social determinants. She healed her heart, spirit, body and mind by stepping into her desire for living life to the fullest and loves to give her clients this same passion. A firm believer in finding one’s own journey to health, her experiences have taught her to let go, enjoy life and live in her flow.