I use to believe that health came from outside of me. That the foods I ate, the way and frequency that I moved, and how well I was accepted and received by those around me would bring me a healthy state of being. Once food and exercise and outward acceptance were no longer a focus, and I still found myself struggling I realized that I was never going to feel safe in my skin, I was never going to feel truly accepted or loved if I couldn’t do that from within. I started to notice that when life got tough, I got tough on myself. When things were uncomfortable in my outward life, I felt uncomfortable in my body. If I felt inadequate in my outward experience, I would turn inward and attack myself. I watched how powerful my thoughts were. How captivating they were. I couldn’t help but listen to and believe them. For much of my life I have been listening to and believing these thoughts: “You will never be good enough, why even try.” “If you gain weight you will be unlovable and unaccepted.” “You ate that cookie, you are absolutely worthless and un-trustworthy.”
I started to notice how much pain these thoughts were bringing to my life. One evening as I lay in bed crying for “no” reason other then feeling absolutely miserable with who I was and how I viewed my body and how I was living my life I told my husband, “Will you just take these evil thoughts away, they cause me so much pain.” This is was the first step, acknowledging the power my thoughts had over my experience. This was a small opening, a crack in the door way, leading me into a new experience. I sat with that idea, that our thoughts shape our experience. This isn’t something new. We have heard these teachings for centuries, but it takes the right moment to let the wisdom penetrate our mind and reach our soul. A few days later I told my husband I was going to “try” something new. He suggested that I “Do” something new. Trying is a copout for expecting failure. Doing is trusting in the ability to succeed. So I did. I watched my thoughts. I stepped back from them. Honoring their power, and choose not to listen to them. I countered these thought with truths. When I caught myself hating on my body for being a particular shape, I would remind myself of all the miraculous things my body does for me. The ability to see the love in my husbands eyes. I thanked my body for the ability to ride my bike through hills and countrysides. I express gratitude for my body at it allows me to hear the brilliance of music. I acknowledge my feet for carrying me everywhere I go. As I see the beauty in my body I relax. The mind quiets. I feel safe. The body says thank you.
Curious. Compassionate. Courageous.
After twelve years as a pharmacist Tara Mixon left tradition medicine behind to find a more empowering way to serve people in the search for health. She has since started Soulful Medicine in Seattle, Washington. As an eating psychology and holistic health coach she guides women and teen girls to a place of vitality. Moving into a place of self-worth and positive body image her clients are able to devote their energy into living an authentic, vibrant and flourishing life. One free of body hate, fear and playing small. Health starts from within. We are all meant to shine. You can learn more at soulfulmed.com When she isn’t engrossed in her business you will find her most likely riding one of her many bicycles, practicing yoga, spending time in nature, creating in her kitchen (or her friend’s kitchen) or spinning cartwheels in a park.