One day, after walking around Whole Foods for a half hour, with nothing in my cart, I went home and had a complete breakdown.
After spending 18 months committed to a gut-healing diet that wasn’t working, I felt torn between surrendering and persevering. I was afraid that if I stopped the diet, my digestive symptoms would get worse. And, yet, I didn’t think I could go another day of eating such a strict, boring and bland diet.
At this point, I had slid down the slippery slope of orthorexia – scared to eat anything that might harm my health. I was actually afraid of never healing and this diet seemed to be my only ticket to freedom. I seriously didn’t know what to do.
After crying my eyes out on my living room floor, I took a leap of faith and abandoned the gut-healing diet. And, I was terrified.
Up until this point, my focus of healing was on high-quality food, supplements, eliminating toxins in my environment, and alternative medicine treatments. I tried to control everything around me (including the people I loved most) so that my healing experience would be as perfect as it could be. I was constantly researching on-line, looking for answers outside of myself. I went from doctor to doctor, giving my power away and doing whatever they told me to do – without question.
I was operating out of fear. I thought there was something wrong with my digestive system. I thought there was something wrong with…me.
The constant focusing on what was wrong and the desperation to fix it, slowly sucked the Life right out of me. No wonder I wasn’t feeling better.
Several years later I learned that you cannot heal from a place of fear.
It didn’t matter that I was buying the best food my money could buy…because I was cooking it with anger and frustration and I was eating it with resentment.
It didn’t matter that I was taking high quality supplements…because my focus was on controlling, perfecting and fixing something I thought was broken.
The healing journey requires trust, surrender, openness, joy, fluidity, and ease. It requires embracing the uncertainty of our body and the uncertainty of Life. It needs to feel empowering!
I now choose to focus on vitality. I understand how much our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs affect our entire body. And, I believe our mental and emotional health is one of the most overlooked components of wellness today.
These days, it is more meaningful to me to cultivate mental and emotional resiliency, embrace imperfection and continually practice opening up to love – love for myself, love for my family & friends…love for Life.
We can only heal from a place of love.
Jen Miskiel has been passionate about health and wellness for over two decades. Trained as a health coach and health-supportive chef, she understands the importance of high-quality food and low-tox living. However, several years ago, in her own quest for health and gut healing, Jen’s passion turned into a perfectionistic obsession as she slid down the slippery slope of orthorexia. She learned first-hand how food is not everything and she now believes our mental and emotional well-being are one of the most overlooked components of health today.
As a Certified Aroma Freedom Practitioner and a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach, Jen helps women transform emotional eating and binge eating so that they can experience an empowered relationship with food and create a ripple effect of food freedom for generations to come.