Wanting. Trying. Trusting.

In the process of becoming a better coach, I’ve had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of a lot of amazing coaching from my peers. During one of those conversations, I was talking about wanting to lose some weight that I had gained after my father passed away. It was just enough weight to make my clothes a little tighter and to make me feel less comfortable in my body, after being at a steady weight for several years.

When I told her that I wanted to lose those extra pounds, her question to me was “Are you trying to lose weight?” And, honestly, I didn’t know how to answer her. That question floated around in my head for several weeks. Because, to be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I knew what “trying” to lose weight looked like anymore.

I knew what it didn’t look like. It didn’t look like any form of dieting (Paleo, Weight Watcher’s, calorie counting, tracking, weighing, measuring, restricting, depriving, etc.). It didn’t look like any form of punishing myself with exercise (running, spinning, treadmilling, crossFitting, elipticalling, hot yoga-ing, etc.). It didn’t look like eliminating anything I loved or including anything I hated. In other words, it didn’t involve any of the outdated methods that I may have employed in the past.

So as I spent those weeks pondering her question, I had to think about the difference between wanting to lose weight and trying to lose weight and what that actually means to me now. I am no longer willing to do things that I know will make me miserable that will only have short term impact anyway. And I had to ask myself what was more important – getting those pounds off my body or continuing on the path of trusting myself and my body to know what, when, and how much to eat. Because if I lose that trust, what’s left?

I spent more than half of my life going on and off of diets (with the off time spent in the misery of binge eating and feeling out of control with emotional eating) – and it was a long journey to get to a place of peace and trust with food and my body. But I did get there and I plan to stay there. So I don’t have any intention of backtracking now.

In the end, what I realized is that my journey with weight is no longer about trying to lose it. It has become about trust. It’s about trusting the journey that I’m on with my body. Trusting that when I’m carrying some extra weight, there’s a reason I need that weight. Trusting that when my body is ready, it will release that weight. It’s about continuing to trust that my body knows what it needs, and listening to its wisdom. It’s about trusting that no matter what happens, and no matter how much I weigh, that I’m enough, I’m worthy, and I’m loveable exactly as I am!

Ann Richeda

Authentic. Compassionate. Insightful.

Ann coaches women to love their lives at every size. She helps women who, like she did, struggle with an often decades-long cycle of dieting, binge eating and emotional eating, often triggered by a negative body image. She knows what it’s like to feel miserable and like an out-of-control weight loss failure and it is her mission to help women out of that despair. Her compassionate approach shows her clients how they can trust themselves around food again, stop depriving themselves of what they love, and break the cycle. Through a combination of Eating Psychology and Transformational Coaching, Ann helps her clients shift long-held beliefs that there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed – they learn that they are already whole and enough, exactly as they are. From that place, they can begin to embrace their lives fully, and stop waiting until they have a different body.