I have a question for you. What role does judgment play in your day, or your life? Do you judge food, or other’s food, or your body, or clothes, or looks?

What I have found, while working with people and being a woman with lots of female friends, is that judgment creeps in.

Do you have any “shoulds” showing up in your thoughts or your words?

I understand ambition. I understand wanting to be, do and have it all. Do I think that’s possible? Hell yes I do. I also realize how “striving” in our lives and in our days can take a sneaky turn.

I see it all time the time. Sometimes it looks like a case of the shoulds.

Here’s what that sounds like:

“I should go to that party.” “I should go to the gym.” “I shouldn’t eat that.” You name it.

That’s the type of language that makes us wrong for what we do or don’t do. That is also what leads to us not trusting our own decisions, and what eventually causes us to lose touch with our intuition.

I made a decision a couple years ago to officially replace “should” with “could” in my vocabulary, and I now allow myself to choose whatever is best for me in that moment. Then I give myself permission to own it, no matter what it is. Looking back, I received a nudge in this direction when Adrenal Fatigue took over my ability to choose. It said, “Nope! You’re actually not going to be able to do much of anything today, or tomorrow.”

The things is, judgment creates pressure. Judgment shifts our body chemistry to a LOW vibe state.

Given my past as a collegiate athlete, I had to push myself and not slow down.

Now I listen first.

My body gives me the guidance I need. My judgmental (or perfectionist) thoughts do not.

We don’t have to force ourselves, and we certainly don’t have to punish ourselves. Give yourself a choice. You make good choices! When you do that, watch how your energy begins to shift.

Now I give myself lots of options. When it comes to working out, sometimes it’s an early gym class, sometimes I’m in the back row at spin taking my time, or I go for a walk, or I pass on the exercise that day, without feeling guilty.

I let myself choose. This is what balance is about.

A perfectionist approach sets people up for failure. They think when things are “perfect” then they can begin to relax, but it doesn’t matter what you’re trying to control because generally, Life has other plans. The good news is, there’s a much bigger plan that’s working out better than anything you could have planned anyway.

You just have to be present enough to notice it. Give yourself that gift.

Strive for progress, not perfection.

Life isn’t a checklist. It’s a dance, darling.

See you on the dance floor.

Vanessa Rogers

Motivated. Supportive. Dedicated.

As a Certified Dynamic Eating Coach, with a degree in Human Development from the University of California, San Diego, and as an ACE Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist, I help professional women who are struggling to lose weight get the results they want in a sustainable way. What I find is that often women are confused by all the conflicting information out there, are not getting the results they want, and are struggling with consistency. What they really want is a customized solution, to be at ease around food, to have more energy, and love the way they look! Please email me to schedule your first free Food Mastery Session.