I had an amazing experience at the gym this morning and wanted to write about it. What happened? I worked out.
The amazing part was, I didn’t compare my body to other bodies and feel embarrassed or ashamed while I worked out. I actually had the thought during one set of reps that I love my strong legs and I wouldn’t want them to get smaller. There was a sense of contentment that allowed me to relax and enjoy the workout and feel good moving my body.
I felt proud of my body without having any idea what I ate for breakfast or what I ate the day before or what I weigh. I wasn’t only feeling healthy because I went to the gym “Z” times and hit my calories. This time I felt good simply because I felt good and for no other reason. This felt even more powerful because there was not going to be a backslide. I wasn’t going to suddenly forget to feed myself and fall off the food wagon. Or fall off the “I am moving because I want to” wagon. Boy that realization felt good.
I felt like I was really and truly organically healthy for one of the first times in my life ever. Organic is listed in the dictionary as “denoting a relation between elements of something such that they fit together harmoniously as necessary parts of a whole”. What a fabulous definition. Harmonious, necessary and whole. Who wouldn’t want to feel that way? I feel like my parts are starting to fit together harmoniously and that I am starting to feel whole.
I do know this feeling has been inching its way into my life over the last few years. I have been making small daily decisions that simply feel good and that my body is in agreement with. I have been learning to listen to my internal compass and not external influences. It’s not every day that I feel positive and it’s not 100% of the time, but compared to days of feeling 100% negative and years of trying to fix myself, it’s safe to say that I’ll take days like today over days from years past, anytime.
Best of all, since I feel better, I am making decisions differently and perpetuating the cycle of feeling better. I am eating foods that make my body feel stronger, finding movements that I enjoy, not feeling guilty about napping when I am tired, not feeling bad when I don’t drink 8 glasses of water etc.
The process is infinitely more satisfying than making decisions based on outside judgments of what I should weigh or what I should eat or how many times I should work out and then feeling like crap because I can’t meet the standards. This is different and this feels different and I feel like I am getting it for the first time ever. It is my wish that all people would feel this good in their bodies, no matter what their size, and I love knowing that this wish is entirely possible.
Supportive. Compassionate. Honest.
My name is Elizabeth E. Hall and I am a recovered chronic dieter who has struggled with body image issues for most of my life. For several years now, I have been studying why women have so many issues with their bodies. Along the way I have been compiling tools and resources to help women stop dieting, and start loving themselves. I am a Certified Eating Psychology coach and my focus is on intuitive eating, health at every size, and improving one’s body image. I want to help women shake off the oppression our diet obsessed society imposes and find peace with food and their bodies. I want to help women open the door to being more mindful and present in their lives and enable them to see the magic in everyday living.