When you were born you were wild. You operated from instinct and intuition. You gave love when it felt right. You ran when you felt like running. You ate when and what you felt like eating. You didn’t worry about your waistline or what others saw you eat. You were never concerned with which exercise burnt the most calories. You had no thoughts over whether mother’s milk had too much fat or carbs.
You were still free. Free from stress. Free from internal oppression. Free to express whom you are. Free to ask for what you want. Free to cry, and jump for joy within seconds. You spoke your truth. You felt deeply, you loved openly and you lived boldly. Life was simple.
This wildness didn’t last long. You were told that you weren’t being good. You were told that you were too loud. You were glared at with disdain when you embarrassed the adults. You were told to sit down, be quiet, wait your turn, and watch what you ate. You were motivated by fear. “BE WHO WE WANT YOU TO BE, OR ELSE…”
Your wildness was taken from you, and eventually you liked it. It felt good to fit in. It felt good to have approval of authority and loved ones. It felt good to get nice grades, and to win shiny trophies. The joy of your wildness was replaced with the comfort of apparent certainty and the promise of stability. And riches, let’s not forget riches.
Eventually you gleefully handed over your wildness each and every morning as you put “the right clothes” on your body and hid your true nature. And for a time, this felt like home. The virtues of a tame and stable life are plentiful.
Eventually your wildness came back. It was a repressed and shamed version but it was there. You couldn’t handle it. You tried to tame it, but it kept showing up. Each day you did what you had to do to fit in, to look like “one of them”, to be accepted and loved. The more you tried to hide it the more it showed up in dangerous and shadowy ways.
This wild part of you is hungry. Always. So you learned to feed her. You gave him alcohol and drugs, and it popped its head out for a while to play. You gave her sex, and for seconds and moments she exploded into divinity. It felt so good to feed her, but you were being “bad”…according to “them”. So you pushed him back down.
Your wildness wasn’t satiated, she never is. So you discovered that there is more acceptances for feeding him with food, prescription medicines, TV, and possessions.
Finally…peace…quiet…certainty…structure…you tamed the beast inside of you.
Now, you have a problem. Your relationship with food is where you put your wildness. You hold it together in front of others. You eat your salads and you watch your calories all day. Then at night, she returns. At the end of the day she comes back. “Pour the glass of wine or scotch, you deserve it” she says. “Go back for seconds, it tastes so good” he says. “It’s time to open the bag of chips” she screams, “You can have just a handful”. You feel ravenous and out of control, yet at the same time you secretly enjoy it. This union with the wildness in you is a growing occurrence. You visit more and more and while one part of you hates it, the rest of you keeps coming back.
Now this…feels like home.
You aren’t happy with your weight. You don’t like the way you look. Your clothes are tighter than you’d like. Worst of all, you feel shame. You feel shame that you can’t keep your wildness in check.
How long do you intend to keep trying to tame her in this way? When will you let him out? How can you expect to continue to repress this powerful wildness that you were born with, that is YOU even more so than the version you like to show the world? Your attempts to diet, and exercise, and starve and cleanse will never kill this part of you. This is the primal, divine, soulful, loving, ravishing, untamed energy of your creation, your youth, your egoless being.
You will never kill him. You will keep trying to tame him and you will pay the consequences. It’s not going to work. You can’t win a battle with yourself.
How can you love this wild part of you? How can you consciously decide to engage her in ways that will be generative, creative, and empowering? What do you have to risk bringing him to life in a way that serves you? These are the questions that will unlock you from the prison you’ve put yourself in.
The key is right in front of you. Reach for it. Let out the wildness inside of you. All this time you’ve kept him locked up. All of this time that you tried to distance yourself and repress her. This wildness has been reaching out to you, ready to pick you up, put you on his shoulders and carry you back to the free part of you that was abandoned so many years ago.
It’s time for conscious reunion.
After growing up obese, at age 25 Joe Bernstein was 340 lbs, disempowered, and certain he could never change. Through a series of lifestyle changes Joe slowly lost 150+ lbs without ever dieting. Having kept it off for several years, Joe committed his life to helping others navigate their relationship with food, body and weight.
In his practice Joe helps men, women, and teens live a more inspired and empowered life. His approach leverages growing from the inside to enable shrinking on the outside. Joe helps his clients understand that losing weight is about more than food and exercise. Having walked the path of weight loss and profound personal exploration and growth, he co-creates a pathway to sustainable change in mind, and body.
All of us have armor that we created to keep ourselves safe. Joe helps you Drop the Armor and step into health, happiness and personal power.